Okay, i've decided. Since i've got nothing to do now. I shall just do a blogpost.

Well, things have beeen like up and down for me.

Everything's great, i just hate the way how my body's turning out?

Well, im weaker. My ankle. I do train on myself, i swear i do.

But i feeel that all of these isn't enough for the obvious change.

I honestly miss training so much, i definitely miss my kinda tanned skin.

Im honestly getting really really fair now! LIKE REALLY.

Shall go get tanning sooon.

Well, im sure this isn't the issue that happens to me.

Im sure every girl will find at least one imperfection of themselves.

And honestly, i find many of them in me.

I hate them so much, it's these imperfections that make me feeel so insecure.

The society is really cruel, everywhere you go. You can be yourself.

Or you are yourself.

But honestly, no one gives much a damn about you unless you're,

Talented, smart, out-going, pretty, hot, like-able, lovable, rich or whatever else you can think of.

To me girls that are pretty, they get whatever they want. Which isn't fair.

Girls that have the skinny genes, they can eat whatever they want without getting fat.

But some girls just have to control their diet just to make them feel skinny or perfect.

Well, it's society. 

Some girls just have more advantage than others i guess?

Which sucks so bad, i mean every girl wants to feeel goood about themselves.

But you dun always get what you want.

These few thoughts are always in my mind.

This always happen when i look at myself in the mirror.
I hate it.

And this is what every girl would wish their body will have.

Yup, flat stomach with abs, tonned legs that are skinny. And of course booobs.

And sometimes when you look at those perfect girls, you always wonder to yourself.
Why can't you be like them?
Everyone loving you, everyone adoring you, everyone envying on you.
Be it academic wise, looks, body, sports or even socializing with people.
Why cant everyone be the same?
If everyone's the same, maybe everyone will feeel the same way.
And be happy with who they are.
But honestly, i know it isn't going to happen.




People can be at your back, badmouthing about you.
Saying that you're a bitch, fat, ugly or whatever.
Even when your friends say, or wait.
'I think you got fatter.' When you hear that, im sure your self esteem will definitely go down.
Trust me, i've went through that.
That really hit me, so i really want to please everyone.
Controlled myself like hell, it did work. Honestly it did.
But i wasn't happy, and im still not happy.
But honestly, i hate it.
During that period of time, i seriously felt like shit.
My whole self confidence just went down like no one's business, i din tell anyone.
I didn't want to, but strangely, here i am blogging about it.
I still feeel like crap honestly.
But i mean, im going to do my best.
And make those people take back those words what they've said to me.
Im the kind of person that doesn't want to tell you what i've beeen doing.
And i want you to notice that change in me.
I really want the people to regret what they have said.

That's why i keep emphasing,
words are really important.
They can honestly tear someone down or build someone up.
But it feeels extremely good when you prove someone wrong.
Like ha, in your face bitch. :)

Yeah, i guess that's all.
It isn't a really organised post as i thought it would be.
But well, i tried.
But honestly, i just envy all the perfect looking girls out there.
Im sure everyone do, unless you're one.
Then i've got nothing to say.
Good for you i guess? *clapclap*
And honestly to me? All guys are the same.
Okay, fine maybe not all.
But looks/body? First. They always take notice of them.
Personality is always the second to them.
Which sucks.
And then again some guys, are not sensitive either.
The insecurity you can give to a girl is great.
Just saying.

Okay, yeah that's all.
I really dunnno how to end off.


But i guess i just want to say this.
I really wanna do this when im older.
Freaking hell scary, but a hell lot of adrenaline rush.

Till we meeet again. :)