I guess sometimes, it's just better to lie than to explain everything.
Isn't it better if you bring joy to others instead of yourself?
I mean you do care...
But even though you know you aren't exactly alright, and you just want someone to be there...
You wouldn't want them to make the extra effort or wasted trip for them to see you.
I mean, afterall they have their own plans right?
But the thing is you're really alright with them having their own plans.
Maybe that's when you start to feel neglected?
Hahaha, i've got no idea...

Is it weird if sometimes i don't know what i want? I just want to be happy but i dunno how to?
I tried many ways to make myself feel better.
Well, for the endorphins to start kicking in.
But nothing seems to be working for me...
Chocolates, going for long walks or even jogs.
But no, nothing's working...
Gosh, i have the urge to drink again.

Maybe i shouldn't take words too seriously anymore.
Maybe that's a mistake i've always been doing.
I dunno...
I dunno...